Wednesday, June 4, 2014

choo-choo ch-boogie

(click to enlarge)
At 4:55, I found myself in my usual weekday spot. I watched my homebound train pull along the platform of Suburban Station. Once the train stopped, I filed in right along with the rest of my fellow commuters. I grabbed an aisle seat and sighed, letting the day wash away. Other passengers were doing passenger things - talking on cellphones, manipulating iPads and Kindles, while others were reading actual books. Just ahead of me, next to the exit, two blond women in facing seats were having a very animated chat. The doors swooshed shut and, once again, the train was moving.

The train made its usual stop at Market East station. In the crowd of commuters, a guy got on and plopped himself in the empty seat next to the blond woman that was facing me. (I will call him "Dick." 'cause that's what he was.) She frowned and sort of scooted closer to the wall, allowing more room for Dick to spread out his briefcase, Kindle, elbows and knees. The two ladies continued their conversation, when, suddenly, Dick interrupted. The blond facing me winced and gave him an uncomfortable look. He cocked a smile under his porn-star mustache and waved his hands as he forced his way into their conversation. With the smuggest of looks on his face, he narrowed his eyes behind his circa 1973 wire-framed glasses and gestured dramatically, the hinged case of his Kindle flapping with each point he made. I couldn't hear everything they were saying, but from the looks of things and the few words I picked up, the discussion surrounded the purchase of a laptop computer. I heard Dick say "Mac Book" and "three thousand dollars." I saw the blond snicker, shake her head and say "no way!" Then she raised her voice, as though announcing to the entire train, and said, "I'll look it up right now. Dude, you got ripped off!" She turned her attention to her iPhone. Dick was not fazed at all. As a matter of fact, he was making "kissy lips" at the blond with her back to me.

Dick must pull this shit every night on his way home.... the slick bastard.

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