joyful noise

On Mothers Day, Mrs. P, our son and I went out for breakfast. We went to a good, old-fashioned diner in South Philadelphia, not too far from our son's house. Apparently, we were not the only people to have this idea, as the parking lot was full, the place was packed, there was a lot of people waiting to be seated standing in a line that was winding out of the entrance. But we waited. After a surprisingly short amount of time, a hostess grabbed a handful of menus and led us to a cozy booth in the far back corner of the multi-sectioned dining room.

Our little booth was adjacent to a large table, at which was seated a group of women. With little deduction, it was very obvious that the women represented a multi-generational family. There were young women snapping photos on their cellphones. There were older (and by "older," I — of course — mean "my age.") women posing for those pictures, snuggling up to one another and flashing wide and happy smiles. There was one woman seated next to an aluminum walker. She was smiling, silently taking in all of the hustle and bustle going on at her table and the tables surrounding. 

My family perused our menus as a waitress brought over huge plates, overflowing with typical breakfast-y foods and placed them before each woman at our neighboring table. Every so often, the sound of silverware clinking against ceramic plates was drowned out by loud, joyous singing. These women burst effortlessly into song as though they were the cast of a 1940s big-screen musical. They sang a few choruses of Motown classics. They sprinkled in some rhythmic selections from the 70s disco era. A few of the women — those seated at the accessible ends of the table — stood up and danced in place, waving their hands in the air like they just didn't care! When the waitress returned with refills of coffee and a few side dishes that were late from the kitchen, several of the women grabbed the staff member to pose for a picture.

During their meal, they all exchanged colorfully-wrapped gifts and beautiful bouquets of flowers. And there was more singing and more photos and more laughter and more joy. At one point, one of the women asked my son if he could take a group picture of everyone in their party posing with the owner of the diner, as though he was some sort of celebrity. Even the quiet matriarchal woman was included in this shot, her chair turned to face the camera. Her smile grew impossibly larger than it was before.

Our breakfast arrived and our meal was accompanied by the loud elation from our neighboring diners. Their singing, their outbursts, the tone of their conversation erupted in pure delight. It was infectious. I made a quick scan of the surrounding tables and everyone appeared to be enjoying these women enjoying themselves.

While we ate, I shot a look across the table to my wife and she shot the same look back at me. We have known each other for 44 years. We've been married for almost 42 of them. We sort of know each others thoughts at certain times — without saying a word. This was one of those times. The meaning of our "silent glances" was confirmed later during the drive back our son's house. We both believed that my father — who died over thirty years ago — and her father — who just celebrated his 90th birthday — would have both been furious! They both would have complained loudly about the women seated next to us. They both would have felt this behavior was inappropriate, disruptive, rude, undignified and unwelcome. They both would have asked for a different table, far out of earshot of these inconsiderate women. And once moved to a different table, they would have continued their complaints. They both were from a different, less tolerant generation.

But it was joyous! Very joyous! Very very joyous! The thought of complaining never even crossed our minds. If perhaps it was a screaming infant... maybe. But even Josh Pincus can't complain about joy.

www.joshpincusiscrying.com

the hardest cut

Last week, a man — who some might label a local legend — passed away. As far as legends go, this man's status was pretty slim. By trade, he was a mohel, a person trained in performing circumcisions in the manner dictated by Jewish tradition,. One does not have to be a rabbi or have any sort of religious training whatsoever. All you need is to apprentice with an experienced mohel, and like any other trainee — watch and learn. This man was an eighth generation mohel, learning from his father, who learned from his father, who.... well, you get it. In the Philadelphia area, this man was the "go-to" mohel for decades. Thirty five years ago, he performed my son's circumcision. He performed countless circumcisions before that... and since. So, if you consider the top choice of mohel in a city of 206,000 Jews a legend, well I suppose he is a legend. But, you have to admit, it's pretty slim criteria. 

My son was born in August 1987. As per tradition, arrangements were made to have his brit milah eight days after his birth, where he would be welcomed in to the Covenant of yada yada yada. This man — the mohel — would be at our house bright and early to perform his little ritual before a houseful of my family and friends. Our kitchen counter was laden with bagel and cream cheese and whitefish salad and other components of a typical Jewish brunch — all lying in wait until after the ritual was over. At 9:30, a silver Jaguar pulled into our driveway behind my wife's car, A dapper-looking man with a gray goatee, dark Ray Bans and a leather jacket excised himself from the low driver's seat. He clutched a weathered leather case closed to his hip as he traversed my front porch and entered my house. He doffed his coat and stuffed his glasses in his breast pocket. He called my wife and I over to a corner of our dining room and briefly outlined the pending procedure. As he spoke, he unzipped his case and removed some fearsome-looking implements. My unsuspecting son was brought in and laid upon a thick, vinyl upholstered pad on our dining room table. (For those of you who may be wondering or have been recent dinner guests at our home, no... we no longer have that table.) My friend Scott, a recent medical school graduate and now in the throes of an internship at Temple Hospital, jockeyed for a front-and-center position. Most everyone else took a step backwards, some observing the procedure through fingers laced across their eyes. It was over before you knew it, its conclusion announced by a loud shriek from the "child of the hour." Soon, everyone was noshing and kibbitzing and schmoozing, including the mohel, who grabbed a bagel. He stuffed the circular bread into his jacket pocket and put an arm around my shoulder, whispering, "Mazel tov! That'll be $250." I wasn't sure I heard correctly. He repeated himself, just in case I didn't. Honestly, I had no idea how much this would cost. (In 1987, $250 was a lot of money! A lot! I can't imagine how much it costs today.) Bewildered, I dashed off a check and handed it over. The mohel thanked me, took a bite of bagel and told me he was off to another circumcision, the second of four that day. As he revved up his Jag, my friend Scott asked if the mohel did anything else for a living, implying that moheling was just a side hustle. I answered: "He pulled up in a Jaguar, took 250 bucks from me for twenty minutes work, got a free bagel and went off to do three more of these... and his day is over before noon. Why would he do anything else?

Years later, when my son entered high school, he became friendly with a classmate named Alex. Alex, as it turned out, was the mohel's son. Around this time, my wife's cousin gave birth to her first son. Of course, as every good Philadelphia Jew knows, the mohel had to be contacted. The morning of the bris, we gathered at my wife's cousin's house. I believe this was the first bris my son attended since his own. In came the mohel, with his Ray Bans and leather jacket, although his goatee had gotten considerably grayer. After a few preliminary words of explanation for the benefit of the uninitiated, the procedure commenced. My son watched... and winced. The next day at school, he spotted Alex and said: "You won't believe what I saw your dad do to a baby yesterday!" My son received an eyeroll as a reply.

Needless to say, the ninth generation of moheling will have to continue elsewhere. 

www.joshpincusiscrying.com