I'm dreaming of a white christmas

"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas/Just like the ones I used to know"

Are you? Are you really? Before the early 1940s, nobody was really dreaming of a white Christmas. Sure, folks thought about Christmas and all the things that came along with the Christmas season. Presents, family gatherings, sending Christmas cards, a visit from St. Nicholas... well starting in 1823 when that poem was first published. But the concept of a "white Christmas" didn't become "a thing" until a Jewish immigrant named Irving Berlin wrote a song called "White Christmas." Before that, Christmas songs were mostly religious in nature. "White Christmas." made its public debut on Christmas Day 1941, just a few weeks after the infamous attack on Pearl Harbor. Popular singer Bing Crosby sang the song on his radio show. He recorded it the following May for inclusion on an album released ahead of the holiday-themed motion picture Holiday Inn, which debuted, inexplicably, on August 4, 1942. The song performed poorly in its initial release. Bing Crosby wasn't especially thrilled by the tune, commenting during the recording session: "I have no problems with that one." But as Christmas 1942 approached and Holiday Inn gained traction, it topped the charts and became an international hit. It went on to sell fifty million copies, becoming one of the best selling singles of all time.

But, how many folks in later generations, even know why they want a white Christmas? They certainly don't want a white Christmas in Australia, where it's summer in December. So, a white Christmas is purely a Northern Hemisphere thing. Before Irving Berlin penned that beloved Christmas song, the concept of a white Christmas was barely a thing. It was alluded to in Charles Dickens' classic novella A Christmas Carol. Snow and wintery weather was described, but it was not the main focus of the story. It merely offered a setting in which the action took place.

I used to work with a couple of women who were very nice, very sweet, but not too bright as far as where their holiday traditions originated. First of all, they marveled at the fact that I was Jewish. They had never known anyone — anyone! — who didn't celebrate Christmas. They questioned me about holidays that they had never heard of, as though I was the Jewish equivalent of the Pope. (By the way, there is no Jewish equivalent of the Pope and if there were, it sure wouldn't be me.) When Christmas time would roll around, the questions were brought up again. It became tradition. "You don't have a Christmas tree?," they'd ask, as though they were asking how I was able to breathe without lungs. I'd explain that, of course, I had a tree, but I just keep it in the backyard, growing in the ground with the other trees. Being the sarcastic jerk that I am, I would often return the questioning, with a little bit of Josh Pincus attitude. "Why do you want a 'White Christmas'?," I'd innocently ask. "There wasn't any snow in the desert when Jesus was born." The two women would exchange blank looks and then look at me. They'd frown and furrow their collective brows, hoping that would force a convincing answer the front of their brains. Finally, one of them replied. "Well, you know..... it's nice for the kids." 

What? What does that mean? How did that attempt to answer my question? How does that explain your tradition? Jeez! I went on and on and on about Judah Maccabee and his ragtag band of soldiers fighting off the Greco-Roman Assyrian army (or whoever they fought) and how the oil in the temple lasted for eight days instead of just one and why we eat fried food to commemorate the "oil" aspect of the Chanukah story. Okay, okay... I fudged on some of the details, but at least I was far more convincing than "It's nice for the kids." That made as much sense as yelling English into the face of someone who doesn't understand English to get them to understand.

I get frustrated by "traditions" that are blindly followed by people who don't even know the reason why they are doing what they are doing. There are so many Christmas "traditions" that are dragged out every year that have absolutely nothing to do with the birth of Jesus. A lot of them were borrowed from other cultures. There is nothing wrong with that. But if you don't understand why you are doing these things, you kind of look like a dope. Even an excuse of "Well, my parents did this, so I'm doing this" is better than "Uh... I don't know." I had another coworker at another job who would talk about all of her cherished family traditions as though these rituals were handed down from generation to generation... only to discover that her "traditions" were read about in a magazine during her train commute into work that day.

If you are "dreaming of a white Christmas," good for you. If you like snow, that's fine. If it's because a songwriter told you to over eight decades ago, that's fine. If it's because "Uh... I don't know." Well, as they say in the South: "Bless your heart."

www.joshpincusiscrying.com

sympathy for the devil

According to a recent news story, 49-year old Swati Goyal had just boarded a flight from Florida headed to Las Vegas. Just before take-off, a male flight attendant approached Ms. Goyal to explain that "the crew" had found the T-shirt that she was wearing offensive. He continued, expounding on her options — either cover the shirt up or leave the plane. At first, Ms. Goyal thought it was a joke. Ms. Goyal's husband thought it was a joke... until they spotted "a very angry-looking female flight attendant" standing nearby, glaring at the couple with her arms folded tightly across her chest. Ms. Goyal was dumbstruck. 

The male flight attendant then asked "Do you know what 'offensive' means?"

Ms. Goyal bristled. "Yes," she began curtly, "I’m a foreign-born minority woman. I know what my T-shirt means and my T-shirt is not offensive." The flight attendant reiterated. "If you do not remove or cover up your T-shirt, you will be asked to leave this airplane." Ms. Goyal eventually complied. Her husband was wearing several layered shirts, so she borrowed one and concealed the T-shirt-in-question behind some buttons and opaque cloth. Later, she commented that she had often worn the shirt and it usually evokes chuckles.

By the way, this is the shirt she was wearing....

Swati Goyal, it seems, is a proud atheist. She is a member of the Satanic Temple, which contrary to its name, does not advocate the worship of Satan. Actually, it does not even believe in a "Satan" figure. Instead, the Satanic Temple "encourages benevolence and empathy among all people, rejects tyrannical authority and advocates practical common sense and justice." The Satanic Temple sells these shirts as ironic commentary. However, it is an actual, recognized religion... just like yours.

Ms. Goyal clearly — and rightly — saw the demands of the staff of American Airlines as discrimination based on religion. After the flight landed, Ms. Goyal contacted American Airlines' corporate headquarters to complain about the treatment she received. The customer service representative listened quietly as Ms. Goyal spelled out her humiliation. Then, the corporate rep did not apologize, but referred to their policies for passenger conduct, citing the airline’s Conditions of Carriage position on “offensive” clothing. That position is: "not allowed," although American Airlines does not specifically explain what constitutes an offensive piece of clothing. I suppose they'll just know it when they see it.

This is a perfect example of everything I dislike about religion. I believe the basics of any and all religion is: "love each other" and "everybody get along with everybody" or some variation on those simple ideas. However, the followers of any given religion usually display vicious and condescending attitudes as they try to convince members of other religions that their made-up deity is better than your made-up deity. They readily dismiss beliefs that differ from their own, finding them "offensive" despite someone else having those "offensive" beliefs as the basis for their own religion. Considering that many religious groups are the object of so much prejudice, they practice an awful lot of it themselves.

I have seen a number of T-shirts that offend me, but I would never impede on anyone's right to express their beliefs, even if they don't gel with mine. On a recent cruise, I saw a guy wearing this shirt...

I find this shirt offensive, mostly because, as many military veterans have opined, the sentiment is misplaced.... and, contrary to popular belief, not everyone is a Christian.

I find this shirt offensive, as well...

Religion is a very personal thing. I would prefer if everyone kept it on a more personal level. Good for you that you love Jesus and all he has done for you, but isn't this display of gratitude best kept between you and your "higher being?" C'mon.... a little discretion goes a long way.

The shirt I find most offensive, is this one...

Ugh! I can't stand his voice.

www.joshpincusiscrying.com

Read more here: https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/community/florida-keys/article238235064.html#storylink=cp

your own personal Jesus

For a little over a year now, residents, tourists and daily workers in Philadelphia's bustling center-city business district have spotted a young man draped in linen, his shoulder-length hair blowing in the wind, his chin obscured by a scraggly beard. He bears a striking, if not uncanny, resemblance to those Eastern European depictions of ... well... of Jesus. You know, Jesus Christ. Yeah. That Jesus Christ.

He calls himself "Philly Jesus," and his "haunt of choice" is JFK Plaza — Love Park, as it's more commonly called — at the foot of the Benjamin Franklin Parkway. Philly Jesus wanders around the park, mingling with people, posing for pictures and spouting a close approximation of the Gospel. His Word-spreading has, however, been interrupted several times when he was arrested for panhandling and for baptizing a man in the park's fountain. In addition to all that, inexplicably, he tweets. Just like the real Jesus did (or does or... whatever.) The reason I know he tweets is because — wouldn't you know it — he follows me on Twitter. (Of course, I follow him back.)

For a long time, Philly Jesus and his message and his social media presence were pretty harmless. He was a novelty. He presented himself as a friend to all, happily spreading the word of peace and love and brotherhood and togetherness and all that stuff that religion claims to stand for. He was blind to race, beliefs, ethnicity and sexual orientation. When the Supreme Court announced its monumental decision regarding the nationwide legality of gay marriage, Philly Jesus tweeted in full support... only to delete those tweets several days later. Social media-wise, he did a complete turnaround, stating instead, that "Sin is sin," "Marriage is between a man and a woman," and calling homosexuality "a vile affection." Twitter doesn't take kindly to stuff like that, especially from a public figure. Especially if that public figure tries to pass himself off as the son of God. No sir, Twitter doesn't like that one bit. And Twitter isn't nearly as forgiving as the Lord.

For nearly two months now, Philly Jesus has been the constant target of insults, abuse and taunts from the Twitter community-at-large. He's been called "hypocrite," "fraud," liar" and worse. He has received suggestions for where he can go, and what assorted and heinous things he should do when he gets there. Philly Jesus accepts the barrage of derision and, in a modern twist on "turning the other cheek," he re-tweets every single affront. Sometimes he unleashes a single tweet that expresses his feelings, like this one I saw the other night:

Well, I couldn't let that one go. Ever the twitter smart-ass, I offered this reply:

I got a couple of "likes" on that one. But, I turned my Twitter attention to tweeting about something I was watching on television or something I saw elsewhere on the internet or maybe I was giving a snarky comment to a co-worker who, for reasons I cannot figure out, decided to follow my antics on Twitter.

Suddenly, someone named "Rory B Bellows," with a Homer Simpson icon, came to Philly Jesus's defense.

This, my friends, is what the internet calls "trolling." According to the Urban Dictionary, "trolling" is defined as "Being a prick on the internet because you can. Typically unleashing one or more cynical or sarcastic remarks on an innocent by-stander, because it's the internet and, hey, you can." Well, I was only watching a rerun of The Andy Griffith Show (one I had seen many times), so I indulged the guy. Against my better judgement, I replied in typically innocent, but totally smart-ass, tone :

Just as quickly, this popped up on my Twitter feed:

This was getting mildly entertaining. I submitted this clever salvo, trying to keep within the original religious flavor:

"Rory B Bellows" (if that is his real name) broke out the standard trolling tactics, starting off by accusing his prey (in this case - me!) of being a troll:

This is what makes the internet great! The anonymous tough guy. Pseudo-menacing accompanied by mild name-calling. Just like a school-yard bully.  I continued for the benefit of my own amusement. I tested myself to see how long I could keep the biblical puns flying. I served up this one in response to his threat:

This is some of my best, off-the-top-of-my-head work, if I do say so myself. But, this guy wasn't finished. 

Now, he's resorted to real threats! And... wait a second... did he just call me a pussy? Yeah, he took a feeble shot at a double entendre, but  — in the name of Philly Jesus! — he called me a pussy! Quickly, I opened an internet browser window on my smartphone and looked up his Twitter feed. There was very little original material. It was mostly retweets and angry replys to other tweeters. All of the replies smacked of trolling (surprise!). Interspersed throughout the animosity, were links to cat videos. That's right, Fluffy batting around a furry felt mouse or Whiskers doing a backflip off a coffee table. You know, cat videos! They're all over the internet and they were all over this troll's page! Another reason I love the internet!

I laughed to myself as I composed this one:

There was a definite, noticeable pause before his reply. I saw how quickly his previous replies had come, but this one was taking a long time. Finally, this...

Then, he must have checked my Twitter profile, which contains a link to my illustration website. He added this to his last response:

Uh-oh! A misspelling in an attempted insult! He was grasping and flustered. Or maybe he was just an idiot. By this time, I was bored. This "battle" wasn't going anywhere and I wasn't waiting around to be called a "pussy" again, so I blocked him and went to bed.

This morning I decided to chronicle this episode in a blog post (this one, as a matter of fact), so I went to grab screenshots (the ones you see above) from my Twitter feed, as well as from his. It was then I discovered that he had blocked me too.

Oh Lord! Do I love the internet!

www.joshpincuiscrying.com