Thursday, February 12, 2015

I wanna go to cool places with you


We ran into my wife’s cousin, Diahann, and her husband, Heath, again. We seem to run into them frequently. And it always seems to be at a supermarket.

Last year, we bumped into Diahann and Heath at our local Acme Market. (Acme, a supermarket with its roots in Philadelphia, is a now a wholly-owned subsidiary of the mighty Albertson’s, the second largest supermarket chain in North America.) Mrs. P and I were guiding our cart through the produce section, when my spouse spotted Diahann. We all chatted briefly — I remember pointing out the misleading signs that were placed by the sweet potatoes — and then we parted ways. 

A week or so ago, Mrs. P and I had just finished a quick run through the aisles of a Giant supermarket*. While I scanned our purchases at the self-checkout, my wife picked out Diahann and Heath strolling past the deli counter.

“Is this the only place you ever go?,” I asked, with an obvious sarcastic tone in my voice. We all laughed.

Just yesterday, as we entered the Acme market, we were met by the now-familiar sight of Diahann and Heath. They had just paid and were leaving the store. Again, we laughed at the absurdity of these on-going encounters. That is, until they mentioned that their next stop was another supermarket within five miles from where we stood. The conversation turned into a store-by-store comparison of nearly every supermarket the four of us had visited within the last several years. We highlighted prices, selection and even cleanliness. We were reminiscing like a bunch of teenagers before a concert trying to outdo each other's experiences.

Then, Diahann and Heath realized that they should be on their way. Instigator that I am, I refused to let them go without bringing everyone's attention to the unusual circumstances of our last few meetings. I offered with a smile, “Y’know, going to the movies is pretty good entertainment, too.” Heath told me they just signed up for a Netflix account.

I'm fairly certain that they rent movies at the supermarket.


*no, not a giant supermarket, as in enormous. It’s the name of a conglomerate owned by Dutch retailer Ahold, based on the East coast.

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