Sunday, July 20, 2014

call me irresponsible

How would you like to be free of all responsibility? You could do anything you wish at any time you like with absolutely no consequences. Don't feel like going to work today? Don't go. It's okay. Don't want to carry that plate into the kitchen now that you have finished your meal? Then, don't. Just leave it on the rug. Someone will take care of it for you.

Would you like to do as much or as little of any task and suffer no repercussions if it is not completed properly or not completed at all? Don't want to take out the trash? Then, don't. Could you pick me up at 7 tonight? You can't? Oh, that's okay. Your report is gonna be late? Fine, fine. Please - don't rush. We'll manage.

Would you like to have someone else take the blame for all of your failures? Would you like it if you could just do whatever you'd like, with no regard for anyone else's feelings or how your actions might affect someone else besides yourself? Taking up two parking spaces? That's okay. No, of course you can have the last of the French fries. I'll eat later. Sure, you can talk in a regular speaking voice in the movies. You paid for your ticket.

Would you like everyone to cater to your every whim with no expected reciprocation? Sure, you can get in front of me in line. Of course you are entitled to one free, but, please, take six of them. Here's a gift for your birthday. When is my birthday? That's not important. You're the important one.

Wouldn't you like to have someone bail you out of every bad situation that directly resulted from your bad judgement? Of course, I'll buy you a new tire. It wasn't your fault.

Would you like to be praised despite your regular poor decisions while still maintaining a position of high esteem? No, no. It's alright. It's their loss. You'll do better next time.

Then, you, my friend, are looking for a fairy godmother. And they only exist in fairy tales for children.

Now, stop acting like a child.

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